B

B: IS FOR BALANCE.
As all mothers know, it is hard to balance life, kids, work, chores, friends, etc. Finding the right balance in your life is imperative for being a mother. I have set days of the week when I get things done. I also have set times everyday that the daily chores get done. I do all laundry and major cleaning on Sundays. The other days I complete the minor chores. I dedicate one evening a week to doing what my kids want to do, so they don't get lost in the shuffle of a hectic lifestyle. It didn't take too long for me to figure out what I needed to balance in my life. I re-prioritized my life after I had kids. Best of luck finding your personal balance in your life.

ALPHABET SOUP

I'VE DECIDED THAT EVERY DAY, FOR THE NEXT 26 DAYS, I WILL POST A TOPIC RELATING TO EACH LETTER OF THE ALPHABET. THE TOPICS WILL ENCOMPASS PARENTING, DISCIPLINE, EDUCATION, THE INSANE, THE FUNNY, AND THE OBSTACLES WE ALL GO THROUGH. HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!!

A: AWKWARD - AS MOTHER'S WE ALL HAVE THOSE AWKWARD MOMENTS WHEN YOUR CHILD BLURTS SOMETHING OUT IN THE ELEVATOR, CHECKOUT LINE, OR IN FRONT OF THE GRANDPARENTS. MY MOST AWKWARD MOMENT WITH MY TWINS WAS WHEN ONE OF THEM WENT TO SHOW AND TELL IN KINDERGARTEN AND INFORMED THAT CLASS THAT, 'MY MOMMY WEARS BROKEN UNDERWEAR, THEY DON'T HAVE A BACK ON THEM.' FROM THAT POINT FORWARD, IT WAS VERY AWKWARD GOING TO THE SCHOOL FOR PARTIES, SNACK DAY, AND SPECIAL EVENTS. I'M SURE THAT WAS THE TOPIC IN THE TEACHERS LOUNGE FOR DAYS TO COME. AS MOTHERS, WE MUST HOLD OUR HEADS UP HIGH AND SMILE AT THE FACT THAT OUR KIDS ARE SO INNOCENT AND VOCAL.

Staying organized with twins

What are the best ways to stay organized with twins? Here are some of the things I have learned as a working mother of multiples.

1. I do all the boys laundry together. I do not mix their clothes with anyone else's.

2. I bought a daily clothes organizer that is labeled with each day of the week on it. It hangs with velcro on the clothing bar in the closet. Every Sunday, I put their clothes in their for the week. I also set out play clothes for the week so they can learn, the days of the week, how to dress themselves, and how to clean up their own laundry when they change clothes.

3. I pack all sporting event bags on Sunday. Since we play baseball and soccer at the same time and it gets very hectic, on Sunday, I put all the cleats, balls, pads, hats, uniforms, shin guards, etc. in the appropriate bag and leave it in the closet ready to go. All I have to do, is add a cold water bottle on the way out the door.

4. I put a small shelf in their closet with 3 levels on it. It is small enough for shirts to hang over it so you don't lose hanging space. I put play shoes on the top level with bedroom slippers, school shoes on level 2, and bath towels, wash rags, desitin, powder, lotion, and a basket with belts, ties, etc. in it. This way they boys know everything has a place and everything goes back in its place when they are done. It teaches them responsibility and respect for their stuff.

5. I have two large Rubbermaid containers in the garage. One has everything pertaining to a ball in it. The other is full of guns, cars, swords, etc.

I have maintained the same system with my twins since they were babies. This has shown them that everything has a place. I feel that this has taught them how to pick up after themselves, respect their toys, and take responsibility for their messes.

what is a cervical cerclage?

When I was 21 weeks pregnant, I was getting ready for work. I went to the bathroom and noticed a white, foggy discharge in the toilet. I immediately called my doctor and they said to come in immediately. Upon arrival to the doctor, they first did an ultrasound to check the boys. Based on what I had told them, they initially thought my amniotic sac ruptured and I was leaking amniotic fluid. However, the results of the ultrasound showed that my cervix had shrunk drastically. At 21 weeks my cervix was measuring 1.8 cm. At my first ultrasound, my cervix was 3.9 cm. My doctor told me to get dressed and meet him in his office.
When I got to his office, he informed me that my cervix shrunk and could no longer hold the babies in on it's own. The doctor referred to my cervix as an incompetent cervix. He told me I had three options: bed rest, do nothing, or a cervical cerclage. He said doing nothing almost guarantees a miscarriage, bed rest can't make the cervix hold the babies, but he highly recommends putting in a cerclage and going on bed rest. I said, 'ok, let's do the cerclage.' He explained that I will go in the hospital for outpatient surgery, I will be awake, and they will stitch my cervix together to prevent the cervix from opening and losing the babies. He told me it was very important to not worry or panic because if I went into labor during surgery, they could not stop it and I would lose the boys because they were not viable at this time. After the surgery, the doctor explained to me that my cervix was so tiny that they were only able to get 1 stitch in it. The surgery was not painful, it was scary because of what was at risk.
The surgery was a success. I went home and was put on bed rest until delivery. My cerclage was removed at 36 weeks and I delivered the boys at 39 weeks 2 days!

Helpful home remedies

Over the years, I have come across some helpful home remedies for illnesses and household chores.

For a fever, take a cotton ball, dip it in rubbing alcohol and rub the bottom of the child's feet with the cotton ball. This will break a fever fairly quickly without using any medication. I have done this several times to break fevers.

To help a stomachache, melt a peppermint candy in water. Put the mixture in a bottle or sippy cup and have the child drink it. This will relieve gas pains, air, and hard stomachs. I started using this on the boys when they were 10 months old.

Do you have that dirty, musty smell coming from your dishwasher? Put the setting on the hottest your dishwasher will allow. Run the dishwasher through a full cycle while it is empty. Fill both detergent dispensers with either pure bleach, lemon juice, vinegar, or baking soda. Any of these will take that nasty smell away. I do this once a week to prevent the smell from coming back. I prefer the bleach because it makes my whole house smell very clean.

For some reason when my twins were a couple weeks old they would nap in there baby swings. The only way they would fall asleep is if i turned the vacuum cleaner on and left it running. I would park the vacuum in the corner and let it run while they slept. The noise of the vacuum resembles the sounds they hear in the womb.

how do you survive bedrest?

When I was 21 weeks pregnant, I was put on bed rest for the duration of my pregnancy. I was at a loss and didn't know what I was going to do. My husband, at the time, was a paramedic with that crazy 24 hours on 48 hours off schedule. He had a second job that he worked during the day on his 48 hours off. Every third day I was alone, in bed, for 24 hours straight....no company, no one to talk to, no one to hang out with. I had to find a way to cope.

My parents came over to help set up a 'station' for me. They rearranged the furniture in the living room. They put our futon in the middle of the room. We dug out my old dorm refrigerator and microwave from college. My mom set up a table beside the futon with food, crossword puzzle books, hand held computer games from Wal-mart, and magazines. My frig was big enough to hold juice, milk, and fruits and veggies. I had cereal boxes, snack mixes, and canned veggies with a can opener. My dad put my small desk at the foot of the futon with my computer on it. I joined every expecting mother website and chat room I could find. I would dig around on the computer for hours a day searching for ways to cope with twins, etc. I also recorded every baby show that came on so I would have a back up of things to watch.

I hated to read, but suddenly came to enjoy it for a brief moment in my life. I also kept a calendar on my desk and marked off every day I made it one step closer to delivery. I also kept a journal and wrote quite a bit about my experiences and things I had done so far in life so I could give it to the boys one day.

Looking back on it, bed rest was incredibly boring and one of the worst experiences of my life.....however.....it was well worth it times two!!!!

how to lose the baby weight!!!

When I got pregnant I was a size 2 and weighed 118 pounds. The day I gave birth to the boys I weighed in at an astonishing 222 pounds. Yes, folks, your math is correct, I gained 104 pounds during my pregnancy. I had so many friends that took their pre-pregnancy jeans to the hospital and actually wore them home after giving birth. Wishful thinking....I did the same. Not a chance. I had to wear the same ugly, elastic waistband pants home that I wore to the hospital. When I got home I made a decision to get that weight off as soon as possible.
I bought a double jogging stroller and away we went. I walked our subdivision daily, sometimes 3-4 times a day. I never joined a gym or bought any crazy pills or workout videos. I watched what I ate, and immediately got moving. I also bought a pull behind trailer at Target for my bike. It seats two kids. I pulled the boys all around for miles at a time. Fortunately, I was 26 when I gave birth, so my metabolism was on my side, unlike these days.
My best suggestion for getting back to your pre-pregnancy weight, is to not wait! The longer you wait to do it, the harder it will be and the bigger you will be. I also found that exercising made me have so much more energy. My mother kept telling me to sleep when the boys slept. I couldn't do it, I wanted to put them in the stroller while they slept and walk and exercise and get my blood moving again. Once you get started, it will be easy. Getting up and moving is the hardest part. Make losing the weight a contest with yourself. Make a chart of your goal for the week and month, reward yourself accordingly with some ice cream or a candy bar.
I am proud to say, it took me 11 weeks to lose the 100 pounds I had gained. No fad diet, no miracle pill, just pure walking, biking, and watching what I ate. Good Luck!!!!

how do i discipline my twins?

I am a very strict mother. I will, when all is said and done, have raised my boys to respect people, themselves, use manners, and have confidence. I choose my discipline method according to the misbehavior. I have spanked my kids on numerous occasions. If they decide to fight over something in the car while we are driving down the road, I simply grab the item in question, roll down the window, and throw it out. They scream and cry, and I simply smirk....mission accomplished. They learned quick not to fight in the car. When we are at home and they decide to do something that they know they are not supposed to do, I make them throw the item in the garbage. While both are standing over the garbage can all teary eyed, I make them explain why the item is in the garbage, and say a brief goodbye to said item. They haven't thrown a ball in the house since!!!! When they say bad words or talk back to an adult, they get a pump of soap in the mouth. If they do something dangerous that puts them in harms way, like going in the road after a ball, they get spanked and put in time out. I have found that the more drastic the punishment is the first time, especially with boys, the more effective it is. My boys will push the line all they can, but they also know, mommy means business and mommy is consistent.

Should I spend alone time with 1 twin?

Based on my twins, my answer is NO! I have tried since the beginning to take just one of the boys to run errands, go to Wal-mart, go grocery shopping, etc. The whole time we are out and about, he is asking me, 'what do you think my brother is doing?' The twin that is with me is feeling as though he is missing something else that is going on. The twin that is left with the grandparents or at his dad's house, feels the same. The entire moment that is meant for bonding and pleasure between a mother and her child, turns into a competition of what one got to do without the other and what did they each miss! When their conversations take place concerning the other's activities in the absence of the other twin, it turns into a fight, someone starts pouting, then the all-to-familiar name-calling begins. I have found it is so much simpler to just drag both of them everywhere I go and allow them to experience everything together at the same time.

Twin with Tourettes Syndrome

When Carter was 4 years old, I began to notice some odd movements and mannerisms he had. He had already been diagnosed with focal seizures and migraines. I took him to his neurologist for a medical opinion on his mannerisms. He began to constantly tug on his shirt at his right shoulder. He would be fine as long as he was moving, however, when he slowed down to eat, color, or watch TV, he would begin tugging on his shirt. That went on for a couple months. He then began to click his tongue randomly when he got nervous, upset, or stressed. His began to develop a temper as well when he couldn't get things perfect. I took him to the doctor and after several tests and observations and studies, Carter was diagnosed with Tourettes Syndrome. I was upset at first, only thinking about was he going to get picked on in school, how will this affect his learning, his athletics, etc.
My sister bought a DVD on Tourettes Syndrome that helped me tremendously. It was shown from the point of view of the child. I joined a Tourettes chat room and support group that was fabulous.
The decisions I've made regarding this is I will not tell him until he is older. The doctor said, Tourettes peaks in boys during the teenage/puberty years. He told me to hold off on telling him until he is mature enough to handle it. As of now, I am guessing I will probably tell him when he is about 9-10. I will leave it up to Carter to decide when we tell his brother. I know Brandon will defend him and help him through it, but I will allow Carter to make that decision.
I have also learned that the tics, as they are called, come and go. They also change. His kindergarten teacher called me in for a conference because of his severe and erratic eye blinking. I had also made the decision not to let the school know because I wanted him in a mainstream classroom without anything in his permanent record. I told his teacher about it and she left the decision up to me. I know eventually, I will have to tell the school, however, for now, it is strictly a family thing. My immediate family knows and that is it. His current tic involves flipping his chin with his forefinger. We have gone through about 10 different tics in the past 3 years. I do not try to stop them, slow them, or even mention them. So far, he has not noticed what he is doing.
Another thing regarding Tourettes is that you have to let the child release the tic. If you try to control it or stop it or if the child feels the need to hide it and not release it, that is when the tics will come out as random screams, curse words, or yells.

What do you do when one twin has surgery?

When Brandon was 6, I discovered his hearing was fading. I took him to the doctor and sure enough, he failed 4 hearing tests. We were referred to an ENT for further observation. The ENT said that his adenoids had enlarged and they were blocking his ear canal, therefore, not allowing him to hear. The ENT advised that he have surgery to remove the adenoids and go ahead and take the tonsils out while he is in there.
We went ahead with the surgery. This was harder on Carter than it was on Brandon. Brandon flew through the surgery with ease, no problems or complications. Brandon had to stay out of school for 1 week. Carter assumed that he would also get to stay home from school. I had to explain to Carter that he was fine and healthy and was not allowed to stay home just because his brother was. Carter felt like he was missing something by going to school. I made a point everyday when Carter got off the bus, for him to sit down with Brandon and have Brandon tell him what we did that day. After two days of Brandon saying, 'we stayed home and mom made me lie on the couch all day. She wouldn't let me play or anything,' Carter soon realized that he was actually having more fun going to school, than staying at home being bored with us.
Making Carter ride the bus for the first time alone and go through an entire week of school without his sidekick, was such a building block for his personality, individuality, and self-esteem. This worked out well for everyone involved.

Should my twins bathe together?

My boys are so very close. They do everything together. They are 7 years old and still share a room. I allowed them to bathe together until the age of 5. At 5 years of age, they began to discover each others private parts. At this point, I decided, no more bathing together. They still ask on occasion if they can take a bath together, but I will not allow it. They used to sit in the bathtub with each other for an hour and play. I know they miss that time together, however, I found that allowing them to bathe together at an older age would not be healthy for them. This was my first step in promoting their individuality.

What do you do when one twin is invited to a party and the other is not???

Separating the boys in school was a fabulous idea. They were getting along, learning so much, and having a blast. Then, the dreaded birthday invitation came, for just one of them. Carter was invited to a birthday party by one of his classmates, and Brandon was not invited. Brandon was extremely hurt and upset and couldn't understand why he was not allowed to go. I explained to both of the boys that separate classes meant separate friends and separate invitations. I hated to do it, but i only took Carter to the birthday party. Brandon had to go stay with his dad during the party. His dad took him to McDonald's to play while we were at the party so he at least got some fun out of the day. I told Brandon that an invitation would one day come for him that Carter did not receive. Sure enough, about 6 weeks later, Brandon was invited to a birthday party for one of his classmates and Carter was not invited. At this point, both of the boys understood the situation and were able to handle future invitations with ease.

Should I separate my twins in school?

This was one of my first dilemmas as a mother of twins. My boys were 4 when they started Pre-K. Their teacher happened to be a mother of twin girls that were 2 years old. I talked to her extensively about wanting to keep the boys together because they were so close. She completely disagreed with me and said that she would be separating her twin girls as soon as possible. I decided, based on their bond, that I would keep them together for Pre-K. During all the parent teacher conferences, the teachers were urging me to separate the boys for kindergarten. I told them, that I had decided to keep them together until they decide they want to separate. I had to meet with members of the school board in order to keep relatives in the same classroom in kindergarten. After much begging and pleading, they decided to allow the boys to stay together. THEN.......summer happened!!!!!!
They were absolutely terrible that summer. The boys were arguing, fighting, hitting, whining, not sharing....doing everything in their power to annoy and tick off the other one. After just two weeks of summer vacation, I called the school board and told them to sign them up for separate classes. The boys were frightened to be apart. I explained to them the positive side to separate classes. I told them they will have their own teacher, friends, recess, homework, etc. They held onto the positives for the summer and we talked extensively about the changes that would occur in August.
I must say, they are about to complete 1st grade now, and separating them, was the best decision I ever made. They enjoyed coming home from school to see each other and share their day. They looked forward to playing with each other in the afternoon. Their vocabulary increased tremendously as they would share their individual day experiences with each other. If you are struggling with the decision to separate, I give it an astounding thumbs up!!!!!